Thursday, March 17, 2011

Margaritas Mean More

My boss and I have a tradition. A rather unprofessional tradition, but a tradition, nonetheless. We have cocktails together on Friday. It started rather randomly and has continued every week since its inception (with the occasional Thursday thrown in when we won't be together on Friday.)

Our cocktails have become part of the work week. Something to look forward to when a customer is unruly, the consignments have been extra heavy, or the other employees grind on our nerves. It's something we wait for, all week, with the knowledge that we will finally get a chance to sit down and enjoy each other's company without all the "work" nonsense.

Lately though, it's become more than that. My boss knows that I will have to move on to a "big girl" job soon, and although we will miss each other terribly, the margaritas we drink side-by-side every week are a tradition that will live on forever. One day, when we both work at separate jobs, when our lives become too hectic to talk everyday, when I have children and her kids are old enough to babysit mine...we will always be able to come together over a margarita and share our problems and joys.

It's strange to me how something so simple has changed into something so complex. At "Cocktail Friday's" inception, I never believed it would become an integral part of my week. But, as I look into the future, where there is only an 8-5 shift and no cool boss to hang out with, I really dread losing it. Mel is one of my most dear friends, despite our 2o-something age gap. Actually, she may be one of my best friends because of the age gap. I look up to her and I respect her immensely.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that alcohol is not always a terrible thing. The simple use of a cocktail at the end of the week to give my good friend and I a reason to really sit down and talk has been so beneficial to our relationship. It gives us a reason to talk about things other than work and allows us to let loose for a minute before the busy, hectic world comes rushing back to us.

I will miss Margaritas with Melanie...and when life gets hard, I know I will call her up to go have one, for old time's sake.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Silly Floridians

So, I read this little quiz this morning on an old post over at Forever in Hell.

It's pretty interesting. It's a "Sexual Tension Quiz" given to high school students in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida.

Apparently, the teacher was reprimanded for distributing the quiz. This got me wondering about the size of the city and it's possible connection with disciplining teachers for, you know, trying to actually teach.

Here's my answer from Wikipedia: Palm Beach Gardens is home to around 35,000 people (I know, Wikipedia isn't the most reliable source, but it got the job done.) While I was there I also searched for the size of the Shreveport/Bossier Metropolitan Area (yeah, we're metropolitan....OOO, AAAH) and guess what? Our population is WAY bigger. Like 10 times bigger: 375,000.

So, I got to thinking. Would this quiz have been a big deal here? Was it frowned upon because everyone knows everyone in Palm Beach Gardens? Or are there more conservative agendas to blame?

I know not everyone in my mom's generation is comfortable talking about sex, but as far as I know, everyone is OUR generation is. That means the generation below us (the high school students who were given the quiz) have GOT to be open about it? Right??

Maybe not. But, why shouldn't they be? It's a simple quiz for crying out loud. Just something to get their minds thinking, just something to test their knowledge. Maybe I'm too open-minded for my own good.

I just don't see the harm in it. I remember in high school we used to take these "sexual innuendo" quizzes for fun on the internet...and learn absolutely NOTHING other than how to make perfectly normal things sound dirty. So, if a psychology teacher wants to take something kids are doing anyway and turn it into a learning device...why shouldn't they be allowed?

Sounds like good teaching to me, but like I said, my open mind will be my ultimate demise.

Here's the quiz in it's entirety. I found it fun to think outside the box a little. Maybe you will, too.

1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me,

you feel good. What Am I?

2. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts. What Am I?

3. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What Am I?

4. Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn't maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open. What Am I?

5. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What Am I?

6. When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What Am I?

7. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What Am I?

8. All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What Am I?

9. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard. What Am I?

10. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What Am I?

11. I offer Protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What Am I?

12. I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What Am I?

13. My business is briefs. I am a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it. What Am I?

14. I make some guys shoot in the air. I usually have a little pecker. I'm better in your hand than in your bush. What Am I?

Click the link up top for the answers. Some will surprise you, others will be, like, "DUH."

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Oh, universe.

I'm sitting at the bar, feeling a little lonely. Josh is sick and everyone else is caught-up in conversations started before I arrived.

Then, just as I'm starting to feel unwanted, the universe puts me in check.

A lady starts singing "Poor, poor, pitiful me."

Ok universe, I get it. Stop feeling sorry for myself and have fun.

I got the message loud and clear.

First Post

As my first post, I assume I should shed some light on my blog's title and purpose.

It's pretty simple: I hate grey. I think in black and white.

I'm trying to find the elusive "grey area" of life. The area where people are happy with who they are without constantly pinning themselves "worst" or "best" at everything.

I have a problem with this.

I began this year with a new's year's resolution that I wouldn't let things get me so worked up and angry. This anger comes from days when I feel the "worst."

Worst at what? Who the ef knows?

My mind doesn't function properly. But, still, I've done a little better this year with my anger, and now I'd like to take it a step further and really ruminate on the parts of life that make me feel this way.

Read at your own risk.