Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I am a Damned Butterfly

Recently I posted a status on Facebook referencing my VERY apparent Atheism. (It's all over my info section, people.) After said status was posted, one of my "friends" decides that is appropriate to comment with the following statement: "You are meant for heaven. You are just in your cocoon phase."

This angers me.

I know this "friend" is trying to say that I'm a good person, and if I were a born-again Christian I would probably gain entry to heaven....but I'm not flattered by this. All I could think was that this friend does not take my lack of religion seriously, which in turn means, he does not take me seriously.

To suggest that a life-altering decision (like coming to terms with one's lack of faith) is simply a "phase" is really, really annoying. I grew up in church, went to Sunday school with my friends, and even went to church camp where I was "saved." Turning my back on something that was a huge part of my childhood was a big deal for me. It was not something that I just decided one day....

Southern Baptist Preacher: "Hey DeAnna! How 'bout that sermon?"

Me: "Uhhh...I wasn't feeling it today. Think I'll go be Atheist for a while."

It was a decision that I struggled with for years. I asked countless youth pastors why I had so many doubts, and why I never really "felt" Jesus working in my life. Their reply was always a variation of "let's pray about it." Damn! I wish I would have tried that! I would have all the answers by now! No, but seriously, it wasn't an easy decision to make...especially living in the South, surrounded by Bible-thumping Christians who take the Holy Book entirely too literally. (How'd Noah keep all those danged lions from eatin' all those danged zebras?) C'mon people.

I wanted to respond to the post with something equally offensive. Like, "You were born an atheist and hopefully one day you'll realize that you're still an atheist. You're just in your cocoon phase."

And also...what does "cocoon phase" even really mean? That right now I'm some ugly bean-looking thing that will only blossom into a beautiful butterfly if I become religious?

I am a damned butterfly. Last I checked I'm beautiful just the way I am. I don't need Jesus to blossom. Promise.