Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I am a Damned Butterfly

Recently I posted a status on Facebook referencing my VERY apparent Atheism. (It's all over my info section, people.) After said status was posted, one of my "friends" decides that is appropriate to comment with the following statement: "You are meant for heaven. You are just in your cocoon phase."

This angers me.

I know this "friend" is trying to say that I'm a good person, and if I were a born-again Christian I would probably gain entry to heaven....but I'm not flattered by this. All I could think was that this friend does not take my lack of religion seriously, which in turn means, he does not take me seriously.

To suggest that a life-altering decision (like coming to terms with one's lack of faith) is simply a "phase" is really, really annoying. I grew up in church, went to Sunday school with my friends, and even went to church camp where I was "saved." Turning my back on something that was a huge part of my childhood was a big deal for me. It was not something that I just decided one day....

Southern Baptist Preacher: "Hey DeAnna! How 'bout that sermon?"

Me: "Uhhh...I wasn't feeling it today. Think I'll go be Atheist for a while."

It was a decision that I struggled with for years. I asked countless youth pastors why I had so many doubts, and why I never really "felt" Jesus working in my life. Their reply was always a variation of "let's pray about it." Damn! I wish I would have tried that! I would have all the answers by now! No, but seriously, it wasn't an easy decision to make...especially living in the South, surrounded by Bible-thumping Christians who take the Holy Book entirely too literally. (How'd Noah keep all those danged lions from eatin' all those danged zebras?) C'mon people.

I wanted to respond to the post with something equally offensive. Like, "You were born an atheist and hopefully one day you'll realize that you're still an atheist. You're just in your cocoon phase."

And also...what does "cocoon phase" even really mean? That right now I'm some ugly bean-looking thing that will only blossom into a beautiful butterfly if I become religious?

I am a damned butterfly. Last I checked I'm beautiful just the way I am. I don't need Jesus to blossom. Promise.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. 'm not as full blown atheist as you are (I'm more of an agnostic/undecided) I'm totally on board with the whole lack of omniscient being overseeing my life thing, and virtually all religious chapters I find totally debunk, retarded, selfish, and bogus. I think it's more of a thing that I want to believe that there is more to life, that there is some smidgen of purpose, just the same as I want to believe in unicorns and mermaids but deep down I know that I shouldn't. Maybe we really do die and that's it, but I find it so hard to fathom my mind shutting down and ceasing to exist altogether. There's just so much activity there, it'd be a lot to shut down.

    One really shitty thing I see about "religionists" is that they don't truly value life. Why bother, when there's a whole new world ahead? It's like, "WELP, I just made a doozy! Oh, well let me go PRAY about it, I get infinity redos as long as I ask for forgiveness."

    The whole "Heaven" idea I find pretty ridiculous. The most precious thing about life is that you only get one. That's it. This is Heaven, for me. Yeah, bad stuff happens, but there is so much damned wonderfulness, too. I don't want to be somewhere with golden gates, choirs, wings and all that hoobla. How can you appreciate something when everything is always sunshine and rainbows and daisies? It'd get pretty damn boring, I would think. And "Hell"? Eternal inferno place of doom because I stole some caramels out of the bin at the supermarket one time, I lied to my ex boyfriend about the car settlement because he's a douche and I feel he doesn't deserve any of it, because I thought the notion of God Almighty is really concerned with my every minuscule action is just a bit narcissistic and unrealistic? Pssh.

    You are a damned butterfly. You're not a sheeple-people, you're worlds better than just about anyone I know. I sung this to you drunk on the dance floor of the warehouse, but just in case you forgot; there's not a thing that I would change because you're amazing just the way you are.

    And... There you have it. I went a little type happy. xzibit would say; "Yo Dawg, I heard you like blogs, so I wrote you a blog for your blog so you can blog while you blog!"